I only have 5 minutes before I have to start my day.... and yet.... I feel like I must get this out.
SHAME ON YOU LANDS END, FOR PERPETUATING THE "BUTT CRACK" style of pants.
This weekend I was at the local Sears Essential and noticed a lovely pair of brown Capri's... I noticed that the manikin has a pair on with a great combination of 2 3/4 sleeved shirts... I thought, "add 20 .... ok 30 pounds to that manikin, and that could be me!" I bought the Capri's, and the 2 shirts and was as excited as a school girl with her new Sunday dress getting ready for church this morning.... when..... I tried on the pants.
Now, I gotta tell you.... I am not oddly shaped.
I am not extraordinarily angled or lumpy.
I am not a gelatenous ball of flub....
So, what is up with the need to air out our butt cracks? Has anyone in the fashion industry actually seen the butt crack of a 180 pound (don't forget I'm really tall) 40 year old? (ok... ok.... 44 years old)
Here's the thing... besides being unsightly, it is pretty uncomfortable... I always have the feeling that someone is going to walk by and drop a quarter down my crack!
Seriously, does anyone like the way these pants feel? How about having to wear a belt... no problem, I'll wear the belt... but it's gonna have to be HUGE... because it is going to have to go around my ample.... dare I say, voluptuous hips... instead of my more narrow waist.
AND then I ask .... why have a belt, if you are going to get to gaze at my coin depository anyway.
I BEG.....
I PLEA....
PLEASE PLEASE.... don't make me shop at Lane Bryant (not that there's anything wrong with that :)).... but........I am still hip........I am still cool.... I would just appreciate it.... if the junk in my trunk remained an alluring mystery!
Would someone please pass the message on to the clothing manufacturers? For the love of everything that is holy... I'm not ready for the white polyester pants with elastic waist band.... NOOOOooooooo!!!!!!! But I am awfully tired of wearing my 12 year old Old Navy Dress Pants to work... because they are the only pants that don't flash my butt cheeks when I sit down!
Thanks for listening, pass it on!
Have a great day!
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