Thursday, July 24, 2008

10 Dieting Practices that Don't Work

I have done a lot of research and can personally attest to all 10 of these items:

#1) Ordering the Wendy's #4 (Baconator with Cheese) and changing it to a medium rather than a large.

#2) Adding extra exercise when you have added extra food. (by extra exercise we are talking about walking out to the mailbox daily, rather than bi-weekly)

#3) Joining weight watchers. Trust me, it doesn't work... It might work if I actually went to a meeting... and well, kept track of how many "points" I had consumed on a given day... but just joining didn't work.

#4) Joining Lucille Roberts or Bally's ... Nope, apparently you have to actually go there and "work out" to see any benefit.

#5) Drink more water. This one... I'm on the fence. I only tried it for a day, and I got freaking tired of walking to the bathroom every 15 minutes. I was exhausted.. I seriously considered adult diapers as a solution... then realized I didn't have to keep drinking all the damn water. Honestly, it was the worst day of my life, have you ever seen a 43 year old do the "potty dance"?

#6) Eat Salad. Well, apparently this only works if you don't slather the salad with Ken's Russian Dressing, homemade croutons, slices of steak and chunks of cheese. Yum Yum

#7) One glass of wine a night. Wait a minute. Now that I am thinking about it, I believe that is supposed to be good for your heart. No wonder it didn't help me lose weight

#8) Atkins Diet - no carbs. Well, I'll be honest, this worked pretty well for me.... for like a milli-second, then I glanced at a bowl filled with homemade bread -- and the fat came back like the nutty professor.

#9) Register online with eDiets. Again, if you aren't going to take any of the e-advice, then you won't get any of the e-weight loss.

#10) Denial, I have taken denial all the way. I have my mirrors hung, so that I can only see myself from the shoulders up. Most day, this works pretty good. Unfortunately you always run the risk of shock from the random FULL ON BODY SHOT. There's no rhyme or reason, it might be the glass front of the Dr's office or a shiny elevator door... it doesn't even have to be a clear shot... just a Full Shot... enough for you to realize that it's only your reflection not several people crowded together on the other side of the glass... nope. It's just you. AND you are wide. If you are practicing "denial", stay away from dressing rooms. What the heck, if it fits, wear it. Who cares what it looks like.


And that friends, are the 10 Dieting practices that don't work.

My advice (and this is free)
EAT LESS
EXERCISE MORE

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